The panic attack that almost happened.


Yesterday was one of my worse experiences riding the NYC subway system.
The day had already started a bit different than it usually did. First off, I woke up later than I usually did and then I realized that there was no hot water in the shower( first world problems). I can’t remember the last time I took such a quick shower in freezing water. At least in Trinidad I could put a bucket of water outside to warm up before taking a shower. Yessss those were the days.
It was a typical hot summer day.The ride from Utica to Atlantic Avenue was normal but as I got on the B at Atlantic , which would take me to Manhattan, I realized that I was in for a bumpy ride.
The train was jam packed. OK granted NYC trains are normally always packed but yesterday that train seemed overly crowded. To make matters worse the air condition seemed to have been  broken and it felt as though there was no air in the car I was in. I felt totally suffocated and as I tried to suck in air through my mouth, I felt as though I was breathing in dry heat.
The train had just pulled out of the station when I realized that I needed to get off.
I felt the anxiety beginning to build inside me and i just needed out of there.
Lucky, Dekalb station, the stop after Atlantic, wasn’t far away but the 3 minutes I waited to get off of that train seemed like an eternity.
I’ve never felt that trapped before and I literally felt as though the people on the train, all sticky and sweaty because of the lack of air condition, were closing in on me.
As I stumbled out onto the platform at Dekalb, the air felt so refreshing I almost cried.
I really never want to feel that way again and as I write this, I’m praying that the air condition stays on in this car I am in as we cross the Manhattan bridge. Today, as usual, the train is jam packed, but at least the air is on and I don’t feel suffocated.


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